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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26406793">Whole</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDragonTale/pseuds/TheDragonTale'>TheDragonTale</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Spoilers for Episode: s05e29-32 Change Your Mind</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:48:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,473</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26406793</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDragonTale/pseuds/TheDragonTale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything hurt...<br/>He felt like he was dying... he WAS dying...<br/>But all he could feel was the tug<br/>The tug to be with the pink thing across the room. <br/>All he wanted was to be whole<br/>(Exaggeration of the one scene in CYM)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Whole</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: Spoiler Alert for the end of Change Your Mind. I do not own the characters or technically the plot. The feelings, emotion, and most of the other stuff put into this is the only thing that is mine. I hope you enjoy it and please let me know if I did a good job.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was surrounded by darkness. His head felt fuzzy and hurt a lot. His whole body ached and his ears rung like someone had banged him on the head with a bell. "Steven!" called a faraway voice. Someone was calling him. It wasn't any of the Crystal Gems, he knew that for sure. Greg? No, he was on Earth. Besides this voice was more feminine. This voice called again, this time asking him to wake up. Wake up? Was he asleep? He didn't remember falling asleep. Then again, everything that had happened in the past ten minutes was a blur. He remembered seeing Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl, basically became mindless drones for White Diamond. Then Connie had come in… Connie! That was who was calling him! Was she hurt? In danger? His eyelids felt like concrete, though he forced them open anyway. He hadn't realized how tired he felt until that moment actually.</p><p>The first thing Steven saw was Connie's face. Connie looked worried, but why? He didn't know why, but he started to notice that the dull ache from before started to grow into intense pain, especially around his stomach and his breathing was heavy and labored. What was wrong with him? Breathing was starting to hurt and Connie's concerned and horrified expression was starting to worry him. What had happened in the past 10 minutes? Something had obviously happened, but what? Looking down, Steven noticed that his shirt didn't have the familiar wrinkle it usually had where is gem was. Weakly, as even more waves of pain crashed down on him, he placed his hand where his gem was supposed to be. He felt nothing, just the squishiness of his stomach. Slowly he lifted his shirt and he would've gasped if he had the energy. Nothing was there. Not his gem, not a hole, not even a belly button, just the skin of his stomach. "What? No…" he whimpered, it was barely audible. He looked up at Connie who was staring at him with an absolute concern. "W-W-W-Where's my…" he wheezed. He was in way too much pain to even finish his sentence. Connie, who had obviously gotten the idea, looked up at White Diamond, moving to the side slightly, gripping Steven's waist to keep him upright and flung his arm over her shoulder.</p><p>Looking up at the diamond, Steven noticed a small pink gemstone sitting in between two of White Diamond's fingernails. The gemstone started to glow as Steven watched in absolute awe and horror, as the gem started to reform. At first, the gem took the form of Pink Diamond, before quickly switching to Rose Quartz then to… Himself? Steven watched as the pink version of him slowly floated down to the ground, confusion, and longing slowly coming over pink him slowly looked around the room before it made eye contact with him. For a few moments, they just stood there watching and waiting for something to happen.</p>
<hr/><p>Connie was absolutely horrified at this point. After finally getting into the white head, she had expected to fight White Diamond and assist Steven in whatever situation he was in. Instead, she got to face a brainwashed Pearl in a sword duel, get captured by said Pearl, and watch as her best friend's literal life battery, get torn out of him. After White Diamond had dropped his limp body on the floor, Connie had been able to wiggle out of Pearl's grasp and run over to Steven. He looked terrible. His whole body had gone deathly pale and little purple bags had formed under his eyes. Even his shirt seemed to be drained of color as it too was a lighter shade of pink than before. He was breathing heavily, which at the moment, was the only sign that he was alive. She had picked him up off the floor, desperately calling his name, asking for him to wake up. She was so scared that he would never wake up, never be able to save their friends, never even be able to see home again.</p><p>Thankfully for her, he opened his eyes after a few minutes of this. His eyes were glassy and dull and full of confusion. Steven didn't respond for a minute before looking down at his faded shirt. He slowly and weakly was touching his shirt, obviously looking for his gem, his eyes filling with a sense of dread and panic. He was dying, that much was obvious to Connie. He wasn't going to be able to survive without his gem. He asked her where his gem was, though it came out in a forced wheeze and even then, he wasn't able to finish his sentence. He wasn't going to last much longer. His human body needed that gem, and he needed it now. Unfortunately for Connie, all hope was dashed as they looked up at the gem as it started to reform, but when it turned into a pink version of Steven, Connie felt like she might cry. There might still be a very small chance, very little hope after all.</p>
<hr/><p>Steven stared at his gem in confusion. What was going on? Why had his gem taken form as him instead of saying… Rose or Pink Diamond for that matter. Suddenly, none of that actually mattered at that moment. He needed the gem. He didn't really know why, he just felt he needed it. Slowly he took a step forward, trying to get to his gem, reaching for it longingly. His knees almost immediately buckled and he crashed to the ground letting out a pained cry. "I'm dying," he thought, dots finally clicking together. He knew he needed his gem to live, though he didn't realize that without it he was going to slowly die. He had always thought it would be fast and painless. Oh, how wrong he was. Pain now took over everything as he heard Connie cry his name and the pink version of him seemed to flinch slightly.</p><p>Connie was kneeling next to him now as he tried to get back up and failed. Instead, he put out his arm and unintentionally whimpered, "No… Please… I… I need… I need it." White Diamond seemed the most confused out of all of them. "What is this," she asked, eyes darting between the weakened human and the pink gem. "Where is Pink?" "She's gone," said the pink Steven. He had Steven's voice though it was monotone, devoid of emotion. Steven watched, eyes fluttering a bit, as White angrily said, "What did you say." She was glaring at the gem now. "Answer me!" she ordered. The pink Steven looked up at her before screaming, "She's Gone!" Steven covered his head and closed his eyes as not only did the noise hurt his ears but as another wave of agony hit him like a train. Tears now lined his face. The agony was starting to become unbearable. When he opened his eyes again, Steven noticed that where the pink him stood, there was now a giant crater, where the gem now floated. Looking back over at him, the pink Steven started to walk toward him. Steven tried to crawl toward the pink figure, the strain making his eyes water even more. "Help," he whispered. "Steven!" Connie cried again. She was standing now and quickly picked Steven up, grunting from the weight. Steven was a bit surprised but happy that he didn't have to strain his body to do what it wanted anymore. He actually could have closed his eyes and… No. He wasn't going to give up now, he had to keep going.</p>
<hr/><p>Connie was waddling toward the pink half of her friend with the dying half in her arms. She was probably going to need therapy after this. Steven's eyes kept fluttering as he was obviously fighting to keep consciousness. They were about halfway across the room when White Diamond's voice boomed over the room, "Don't you dare take one more step." The pink Steven simply ignored her, continuing to walk toward her and Steven. Obviously losing her temper, White yelled, "That's enough." She shot a white beam of light at the pink Steven, hitting him full force. Connie stopped and watched as the gem was hit with the beam of light, squinting hard from the harsh brightness. Blinking the white spots out of her eyes, she saw that the pink Steven had thrown up a crystal shield, deflecting the blast.</p><p>Lowering his arm and the crystal shield, pink Steven blankly stared at White Diamond, no emotion, no expression at all. She just glared down at him. Connie looked down at the dying figure in her arms. Steven was staring blankly at the pink version of him, his face aghast with astonishment at the power this form had. "Ah, You little!" White Diamond growled, shooting another beam of light at the pink gem. This time, instead of up a shield, it lifted both of its arms, throwing up a full-on crystal barrier. Connie had to squint to actually see the pink figure standing in the barrier, the shade of pink was the same as the Steven after all. White Diamond seemed absolutely outraged at this point. Not exactly sure what to expect, Connie hugged Steven closer, hoping to protect what little life he still had. White Diamond's eyes started to blaze white again, but this time, Yellow and Blue's eyes started to glow as well.</p><p>"Don't you raise your shield at me," White Diamond growled. The Crystal Gem's eyes also started to glow, charging up a powerful beam of light to, probably, try and take over the pink gem. Connie started to spin around, trying to absorb all that was going on around her. "I only want you to be yourself," the giant diamond continued, her Pearl's eye now doing the same. Knowing exactly what was about to happen, Connie slammed her eyes shut not willing to look at the light show that was about to happen before her. "If you can't do that, I'll do it for you!" screamed White Diamond releasing all of the beams at once, trying desperately to destroy the crystal barrier surrounding the gem.</p><p>The pink Steven seemed unfazed about everything that was happening around it, turning its full body toward the diamond. Throwing up its arms, it dispelled the barrier, shooting a shock wave through the room throwing all of the gems in the room backward. The diamonds all collapsed in a heap, the Pearl landing on her face, barely avoiding being crushed by the diamonds. The crystal gems all landed only a few feet away, all laying their backs, expressions not changing at all. Even though Connie knew Steven was weak and basically on his deathbed he cried, "Stop, you're hurting them." He sounded like he was in so much pain, it almost hurt to hear. It actually was amazing that even after all that had happened, he still cared about everyone's well being. That made Connie respect Steven even more than she already did.</p><p>Slowly she hobbled over to the pink Steven, who was still blankly staring at the diamond. When she was only probably about a foot away, the pink Steven turned to her reaching out its arms to grab hold of his dying half. "Here," Connie said handing Steven's full weight onto the gem's form. For some strange reason, Steven had started to smile. So close to death, Connie thought he was just being delusional. Not exactly sure what was going to happen, she took a couple of steps back, giving the pair some space, and what happened next was something she thought would never happen.</p>
<hr/><p>Steven felt sick, then again, he felt like he was dying, which he was. Darn, his head felt so fuzzy and blank at the moment. His body had basically shut down, literally doing nothing he wanted it to do. When Connie had picked him up, he had been filled with this sense of relief or rather hope would be a better word. He felt that in her grip, he wasn't going to fade out of existence, he felt he was going to live. When he felt he was being passed to his pink version's arms, he couldn't help but smile. It was a weird sensation, to suddenly feel joy so close to death, it was almost disorienting. He started to laugh, not really actually knowing why. He was just so happy to be with the part of himself that he thought he was forever separated from. He hadn't realized he had flung his arms over the pink gem.</p><p>It hurt to laugh, but at the moment, he didn't care. Tears rolled down his pale face leaving tear trails as they went. Laughter filled the air as the pink version joined in, smiling and twirling in circles. It felt so strange, yet familiar. He heard, in between laughs, White Diamond ask, "What are you doing? Pink? Why are you laughing?" He didn't know why he was laughing. It just… felt really good to laugh, cry, and spin around with his gemstone. The fatigue, the pain, the absolute terror he had been feeling during the incident were slowly draining as a white light engulfed them both. As if time itself had stopped, Steven stood there with his gemstone clasped in his hands. He had always wanted to be fully gem or to be fully human, though either one didn't feel right. He had tried to be Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond and that hadn't felt right either.</p><p>Looking down at the stone, a sudden realization seemed to creep over him. He had, for years on end, tried to figure out who the heck he was. He wasn't Rose or Pink. He wasn't a human or a gem. He wasn't anybody but he was also everybody at the same time. He was something new, something special, something that had never existed before. Time seemed to resume again as his gem seemed to merge with him again. The glow lessened as even more tears rolled down his face. He looked directly into Connie's eyes. Tears were also rolling down her face. Her face wore a ginormous smile. "Steven!" she cried, running over and tackled him. At first, Steven didn't really know how to respond at first, but then he wrapped his arms around her. The warmth within her grasp was clear as day and it was so comforting, her comforting hold made feel special. He felt like he had finally understood who he was. He was Steven, the only Steven like him. No one was like him and no one was ever going to be like him. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he held his best friend closer. For the first time in so long, he finally felt like Steven. He felt… Whole.</p>
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